Goodbye, Honey
by FriendLey
Summary: Five times Pepper and Tony had what they thought were last kisses and the one time they did. Complete.


**A/N: For Pepperony Week day 1: 5 times plus one**

* * *

You never really know when it's going to be a last kiss. So, Pepper had made a habit of kissing Tony before every mission.

The first time she did it, he was sent to deal with terrorists in Europe. They're standing in Stark Industries' private hangar and Tony's about to get on a plane.

The kiss Pepper gave him was passionate, the kind that made Tony's toes curl and made him want to stay. Forget the mission; this was way more important.

Pepper's hands were snaked around his back, planted firmly there, keeping him in place while his were limp by his side because Pepper never kissed him like this before, especially not in public where people could see.

She pulled back, licking her lips and catching his eye. "There'll be more of that when you come home."

Tony could only nod, mute from that promise.

He flew back in mach one point seven speed after the mission.

"I thought we were gonna get our reunion sex," Tony told Pepper, pouting because instead of what was promised, he got the full first aid treatment instead.

"Your back is so bruised, I don't even think you can lie on the bed."

He snickered. "Don't worry. I can be on top this time. You do bott—" he didn't get to finish because Pepper poured alcohol on his wound and Tony hissed at the pain. "It buuuurns!"

Pepper smirked but Tony was undeterred. "How about a little mouth-to-mouth? I might pass ou—ow ow ow!" He whimpered, glaring at the cloth Pepper was pressing to his leg.

Of course, she kissed him after and they snuggled in bed watching sitcoms. She wasn't _that_ heartless.

.

.

.

There were a lot more missions after that, but Pepper had learned to relax over the course of their relationship, having been lured into that false sense of security that he would come home after every mission like he always did, a little banged up, sure, but alive.

So when Phil Coulson came with a brief on something that might require the Avengers, she thought nothing to it. Sure, it was a _lot_ of homework but he had help with Phil and the rest of SHIELD being there. So, she whispered something that would make him look forward coming back, gave a sweet kiss to his mouth and said, "Work hard."

It never occurred to her that he might not come home. That his body could be stuck up there in a worm hole and the last kiss they had was that simple lip-lock with Phil Coulson in the room.

But then he did come back and they kissed and there was that reunion sex he always wanted.

Everything should have been fine, should've gone back to normal. Except it didn't because he wasn't the same after that.

.

.

.

He had nightmares and tinkered and tinkered and tinkered. He thought he hid it well but she was Pepper Potts.

A few hours after his suit attacked her in bed, he came down to the living room to find her just as awake as he was, sitting on the couch.

Tony sat beside her and apologized, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, the bags under them dark just like the dreams that haunted him.

"I'm sorry for storming off," Pepper said in return. "You were scared."

"Yeah, but so were you! I don't blame you for doing what you did."

She touched a hand to his cool cheek. "Did you get some sleep at all?"

He shook his head and curled up beside her, head on her lap. She ran a comforting hand through his hair and kissed him on the head. "Sleep," she urged.

That was the last time she kissed him and with all that had happened next—him falling into the ocean and her falling into a fiery pit—kissing was the last thing they were both thinking.

After that fiasco, they got a hotel room because their house was gone and where else would they stay?

Tony had told Pepper to shower first but after an hour and she still hadn't come out, he came to see what was up.

The shower was running but a shaking Pepper was sitting against the shower wall, knees pressed to her chest, clothes soaked.

"Oh, honey," Tony whispered.

Sometimes, he forgot that no matter how badass Pepper Potts was, how confident and smart, she was still a civilian who had just been taken and subjected to a scientific experiment.

Tony joined her without another thought, not bothering to remove his clothes. He sat beside her while she sobbed. The grime and blood pooled at their feet, mingled in the water are her tears because the shock of all that happened had finally caught up with her.

"I'm gonna burn you," she had told him, scared _for_ him, scared of _herself_. But Tony had seen demons, had fought them, had created them even. He knew what to fear and what to embrace. She was not the former.

"You're gonna be okay," he told her and when she had calmed, he helped her stand and undressed her, convinced her there was nothing to be afraid of. She was the same. Killian had not changed that.

Still, Pepper tried to rub her skin raw because the twisted superhero definition of rape happened to her and now she had powers she didn't even want and she still burned from the inside out.

And when all had calmed, Tony admitted, "When you fell and I didn't catch you, the only thing I thought of was how I had failed you."

She took his head, drew it down to her chest, letting her heartbeat remind him she was alive. "And the only thing I thought was it wasn't your fault."

It was amazing how in sync they were. How their thoughts always lined up or complemented each other in that way that always defined their relationship.

He lifted his head and looked deep in her eyes. She couldn't tell if he was crying or that was water from the shower trickling down his cheeks.

He gave her a kiss. It was brief and wet. But it gave her more life and comfort than any of their kisses.

The thing about last kisses was that they were always shrouded in that bitter, morbid thought that one of them might not make it back. How can anyone enjoy a kiss when you have that weight pressing down on you?

But reunion kisses, I'm-so-glad-you're-alive kisses, _this one right here, _these were always soothing and life giving. It lit you up from the toes all the way up to the tips of your hair. It was like drowning but you were pulled out of the water, like she was burning, burning for _him_ but he was tempering her fire.

They pulled back and she hugged him tight.

.

.

.

Things got better… until they didn't _again _and Tony almost died in Siberia.

Watching him sleep on a hospital bed, Pepper thought back to the last time they kissed—a hopeful, sweet kiss that sealed their agreement to distance themselves from one another, to go on a break.

"This will be the last kiss we'll have for a while," Pepper had told him, smiling softly because this was a good thing, a mature thing, and they shouldn't make it sad.

Tony took a step towards her, lacing their fingers together. "We should make it count. You know, a sort of break up kiss."

"We're not breaking up," she reminded him, but he had already leaned in so she mostly said it against his mouth.

He held her, deepening the kiss, and then he danced them towards the couch, his hand already unzipping Pepper's pants.

After, Pepper put her clothes back on and caressed his cheek. "We'll be okay," she assured him, kissing him one last time, making sure to pull away quickly to get the finality of it across.

It was bittersweet and yet… Pepper was hopeful the break was going to be beneficial for the both of them.

If only she knew they would end up right here with him fighting for his life and her… waiting for him to come back…

.

.

.

"And we should have no more surprises. Ever. I should promise you."

"Yes," Pepper agreed, smiling.

"I will," Tony vowed and kissed her, saying "Thank you" against her mouth because they were finally in this stage of their relationship where everything was stable; he had a handle on things and she's had a handle on hers… suits and shirts inside the closet notwithstanding.

It was something to be grateful for given their long history, the mountain they had to climb to get where they were now. They triumphed through explosions and fire and monsters. They deserved this calm. This peace.

But Strange came

And so did the aliens.

And he was whisked away from her to a place she couldn't reach. Afghanistan, at least, was someplace one could send a rescue team to. Siberia too was earthbound. But space?

How could you even rescue someone if you didn't know what planet they were in? Was Tony even _on_ a planet or was he simply drifting… floating in space?

He apologized to her one night. It was months after he came back from Titan and they were already married and expecting a baby.

They were both in bed, unable to sleep.

His hand had found hers in the darkness and he squeezed. "How do you do it? Watch me suit up and go and wait knowing I might not come back?"

"I don't," Pepper answered. "I just… hope. And then you do."

"We should name our daughter that, don't you think?"

Pepper faced him and he faced her.

"Morgan Hope Stark," Tony said.

"That sounds promising." She leaned in to kiss him.

"Reunion kisses help too," she added as an afterthought.

.

.

.

"You can rest now," Pepper said and Tony did.

They've been living on borrowed time ever since he came back from Afghanistan. They had a lot of near misses and close calls and yet… they still lived to share hundreds of hugs, thousands of kisses, a daughter, a legacy. She supposed they were luckier than most people.

She pressed her lips on his warm unburnt cheek as softly as she could. It was the only place she wanted this final kiss to be, not on the lips like he would kiss her back (he won't), nor on the forehead like he was asleep (he wasn't), but there, on his cheek like she was only sending him off to get some groceries… except… except this time he wasn't coming back.

Last kisses were goodbye kisses too if you thought about it, and Pepper had.

There would be no more good morning kisses or teasing kisses or hello kisses.

There was only this goodbye.


End file.
